Milestones & Meltdowns

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Meatloaf

Ok - so as I'm sure the suspense is killing you all, my first blog is not going to tell the tale of one of my favorite meaty dishes growing up (ironically enough, my good friend Stephanie recently did blog about Meatloaf), but I am going to divulge a few of the reasons why I shy away from those furry little kanines. Don't get me wrong, I've dabbled a bit in the pet world, but more often than not, I don't have to do much for them to sustain their existance. For example, my first pet was a baby painted turtle named Minature Matilda. She was precious. And based on pictures from the past, there was more than one, but I can't remember his/her name. We had a few parakeets in the Beckman household as well. Luckily for me, Zoe and Zeke were kept in the dining room, on the opposite side of our house from where I laid my head down to sleep, so I was rarely bothered by them. And although I cleaned his cage every now and again, more often than not, Momma Jo usually cleaned it out. My brother Nick had a few anoles (fake Chameleons) when we were younger but they were downstairs and I rarely did anything with them. Except that one time I lifted the lid to look in to their aquarium and I thought he was going to scurry out so I slammed the lid shut. On his tail. Which caused his tail to fall off. They don't grow back. (If I never apologized for that Nick, or fessed up to it, it was me, and I apologize.) All in all, these animals could fit in the palm of your hand and didn't need a lot of attention.

I enjoyed our neighbors dogs, Taffy and Keisha, except for that one day I was out behind the house on a sweltering summer day and I thought Taffy looked thirsty. However, she didn't act like she understood what the big water trough was for, so I took matters in my own hand by giving her head a little 'tap tap' into the water. It must have been more of a shove though, because before I knew it I heard a growl and I took off running. She was a little faster and tackled me to the ground and bit my ear. I eventually forgave her and my ear healed just fine. I didn't really enjoy either dog after that...

I was involved in 4-H for about 10 years and the majority of those years, I had a market lamb, or two, that I took care of from April through July. I enjoyed the sheep so much that if I wasn't walking them around town, I was reading books to them. Actually, I only read to them once, but they did listen, and they did enjoy it. I got along with my sheep pretty well on most occasions, but they stayed outside and kept to themselves. There was that one time during the fair that I took one for a walk and he took off running and I didn't want to let go of the lead rope...so he dragged me a couple of yards down the street. I made it out alive, but my knee still shows the battle wound from that day.

Ok, so there you have the annals of my pet past. Now, to the inspiration for my blog...After a treacherous week of working long hours, and barely getting the 'permission' to go to NYC, I arrive at La Guardia Airport in NY, NY, find my way to baggage claim, hop in a cab to Park Slope in Brooklyn, and arrive to Sarah's quaint little 387 sq.ft. apartment she shares with Milo, or as Sarah affectionately calls him, Meatloaf. Her 9 month old Maltese.

Milo and I have had a sordid past. He's cute, like most dogs, from a distance. But once he starts jumping on your leg, biting at your pants, or your hand that is inadvertently trying to 'bat' him away and protect yourself, that's not so cute. I spent a weekend with Milo back in October while Sarah had to go out of town. I really feel like we bonded and we could co-exist always. I even thought maybe this whole pet thing wasn't so bad. It could be nice to have a little friend. Well, let's fast forward 4 months and a new city and a smaller apartment. Oh, and he no longer gets kanine interaction since he's no longer enrolled in doggie daycare. So as soon as he hears movement on the stairs he's scratching and springing at the door!Milo has grown since the last time I saw him, as has his athletic abilities. He can jump higher and run faster than ever before. Sometimes I worry that his heart is going to explode from beating so fast because he gets so excited! This 'child' does not like to settle down, especially at bedtime. We had the window open in the apartment to let fresh air in, but that also includes noise from the cars driving by, people yelling outside, sirens from the nearby hospital going off and Milo likes to let everyone know that he hears all of this as well. Milo also likes to lick. Everything. I'm told this is a sign of love, but I really don't translate it to be that. So as Sarah and I settle down for bed the first night, we can only assume Milo is just as tired. WRONG! He thinks it would be more fun to run around the apartment, scratch at the rug, attempt to lick my face or jump on the bed to walk all over us. Needless to say, Sarah and I didn't get more than an hour of sleep the entire night and we both had to work in the morning.To add to my distaste for Milo, I am left at home with him that next day. He decides to be a calm little puppie that almost makes you like him again and think he's fun to have around. He would scoot next to me on the couch and fall asleep cuddled up next to me. What's going on?? I tried to sleep last night, yet he chose to keep us awake so I decided I wasn't going to let him sleep either. Throughout the morning I found myself ruffling him and talking to him to make sure he could still hear all the commontion outside the window. I was merely trying to keep him 'in the know' like he did for me the night before.

So eventually, I decide maybe it would be nice of me to take Milo outside so he can relieve himself. He doesn't always get a chance to do this during the day, so I thought this would be a nice treat for him. We make it down the four flights of stairs and outside for him to visit each of his favorite trees. I was pretty sure that he couldn't have anything else in his bladder so we turn around and head back to the apartment. I settle back in to my work while Milo goes back to his 'business,' and by business, I wish I meant paperwork. Milo gives a little bark that I ignore and then all of a sudden a nasty stench wafts up to my nose. I get up to check out the other side of the coffee table where Milo had been sitting. Yes, Milo decided it would be more fun to do his 'business' in the comfort of his own home, rather than outdoors with the rest of God's friendly creatures.

I can get past the jumping, biting, and licking, but the constant need for attention coupled with the freedom of their bodily functions are too much to handle.
Alright, my first blog is getting a bit lengthy, but this pet buisness is clearly not in my near future.